Tuesday, February 24, 2009

That rule doesn't apply to me

Guy and I fought over who had the right to blog about this event, and I've given him two days.

You snooze you lose.

I usually sit in the balcony on Sundays when I go to Bethlehem. The ledge on the balcony is about waist high and a foot wide, and makes a very tempting place to rest an item. However, the risk of said item falling off the ledge and onto the sanctuary below is quite high. Common sense dictates that you shouldn't put anything there.

Guy, Cassie, Kyle, and I were sitting in the second row of the balcony. When the sermon began (D.A. Carson spoke, and it was really great by the way), the guy sitting in front of us pulled out his pew bible and followed along with the sermon text. He then proceeded to place his bible on the ledge of the balcony. A few seconds later he bumped it. Luckily, it slipped off towards him, landing near his feet. Guy and I both watched it go. It was traumatic.

Lesson learned, right? If I were in his shoes, I would have thought "Sheesh, that was close. Guess I won't be doing that again."

NOPE. Seconds later the bible was right back where it was. Doesn't this guy know that the Word of God is sharper than any double-edged sword? One false move and it's going to be death by ESV (thanks to Guy for that line) for whomever is beneath us. Most likely an older widow, a real prayer warrior. The blessed sister won't even know what hit her.

I haven't even gotten to the most ironic and exasperating part of this entire affair. In case the aforementioned common sense fails to prevent people from committing involuntary manslaughter or at least gross criminal negligence, there is a small sign every few feet on the ledge that says something to the effect of

Please do not lean over or place items on ledge.

This guy had placed the bible directly on one of those signs. The rest of the service was touch and go for me. Every time he touched the bible or shifted in his seat, the life of the dear old saint (who was probably on oxygen) innocently sitting beneath us flashed before my eyes. I may have blacked out once or twice.

By the Lord's grace, that bible did not fall. The service ended and the guy put the bible away, oblivious to how near he had come to making the worst mistake of his life. Clearly the Lord has more work for the kind gal sitting peacefully beneath him.

I'll keep her in mind next time I'm tempted to break a rule that I'm prideful enough to presume doesn't apply to me.


Guy Magno said...

I couldn't have said it better! I laughed out loud...or LOL.

Eva Joy said...

Awesome. Story.

Laura said...

What a way to go, though. Slain by the Word. It's such a poetic way to die. I'd take it, were I an old prayer warrior in my chair, weighed down by my oxygen tank that I have to carry around because of a lifetime of breathing in second hand smoke.